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Session 4. Feedback Conversations
Objective. Give descriptive feedback from evidence, run a four-move feedback conversation and respond calmly when a colleague becomes defensive.
Feedback is where coaching succeeds or fails. The same evidence can leave a colleague curious or crushed, depending on the words and the order. This lesson goes deeper than the key ideas: why a judgement closes the mind, how to ask the colleague to reflect before you speak, and what to say when the conversation turns hard. The aim is not to be soft but to be useful: a colleague who can use what you said tomorrow.
Key ideas
Describe, then wonder
- A judgement ('weak', 'boring', 'good') gives the colleague nothing to use. Evidence ('9 questions, 3 pupils answered') can be examined together.
- Use a ladder: what I saw (evidence), then what I wonder (a question), only then, if asked, an idea.
- Watch for hidden judgement words: should, too much, not enough, always, never, weak, lazy.
Four moves in 20 minutes
- Invite (3 min): 'How did it go compared with your goal?' Let the colleague speak first. Show (5 min): share the evidence and one real strength, with its effect on pupils.
- Wonder (7 min): 'What do you notice? What might explain it?' Agree (5 min): one small step, one date, and what the next observation will count.
- Hold it within two days of the lesson, in private, sitting side by side with the notes between you. Offer the colleague the notes to keep.
A strength is specific too
- 'Great lesson' is warm but empty. 'When you said, 'Show me with your fingers', all 28 pupils answered in two seconds' tells the colleague what to repeat.
- Choose a strength linked to the colleague's goal, not a random compliment. It shows you looked at what they asked you to look at.
- Give only one focus for change. Three suggestions feel like an inspection and are rarely tried.
When the conversation gets hard
- Defensive ('it is just this class'): acknowledge the difficulty first ('This class is demanding'), then return to the evidence and offer a small choice.
- Disagreement with the count: ask what the colleague saw and check the tool definition together. Seniority: ask for their expertise ('You know this class better than I do; what does the count suggest?').
- 'Just tell me': ask permission, then offer two ideas and let the colleague choose. If you saw a risk to a pupil, say so openly and follow school rules.
Four moves of a feedback conversation
Why a judgement closes the mind
'Your lesson was disorganised' sounds clear to the speaker and vague to the listener: which part, how much, compared with what? It also attacks the person. The colleague either defends or agrees without understanding. Evidence ('the instruction was repeated three times and six pupils started after the third') names a moment that both of you can look at.
Praise works the same way. 'Well done' feels warm for a minute and teaches nothing. A specific strength tells the colleague what to repeat and shows that you looked carefully. Use strengths tied to the goal, and say the effect on pupils, not just the teacher's action.
Inviting before telling
Start by asking the colleague how it went against their goal. People are often harder on themselves than any observer, and what they say tells you where to go. If they name the issue first, your evidence only confirms it, and the step is theirs.
When it is hard, slow down. Acknowledge feeling ('This is a demanding class'), return to the shared evidence, and offer a small choice ('Would you rather try the pause or the pair talk?'). With a senior colleague, use their expertise as the door: 'You know this class; what does this count suggest to you?' Respect for age and experience is not weakness, it keeps the door open. If you saw a risk to a pupil, say so openly and follow school rules.
Examples from the classroom
From 'weak' to numbers
Scene. Madina watches Aziz's Grade 6 reading lesson in Tashkent. Instead of 'your questioning was weak', she says: 'In ten minutes you asked nine questions and three pupils answered; four times you answered yourself after about a second. What do you notice?' Aziz looks at the tally and says: 'I do not wait.' He chooses to count to five. Nobody has to say 'weak'.
Insight. Evidence plus a question lets the colleague find the issue himself.
It is just this class
Scene. Aziz folds his arms: 'They are weak.' Madina says: 'This class is demanding. Look at your tally with me: which three pupils answered, and who else could?' Aziz names two quiet pupils. She asks: 'Would you rather try asking in pairs first, or giving them a written minute?' He picks the pair talk and a date, Thursday.
Insight. Acknowledge, return to evidence and offer a choice; the colleague stays in control.
The elder colleague
Scene. Malika, 28, coaches Gulnora, who has taught for 31 years in Samarkand. Malika begins: 'You know these pupils better than I do. I counted that only five pupils spoke in the discussion. What would you want to know about that?' Gulnora says that the same five always sit near her. She chooses to rearrange the seating for a week.
Insight. Asking for expertise respects seniority and still moves the conversation forward.
Common pitfalls
- Starting with your own opinion before the colleague has spoken.
- Giving three or more suggestions in one meeting.
- Using the 'sandwich' of empty praise, a hidden criticism and more empty praise; colleagues see through it.
- Arguing with the colleague over who is right instead of looking at the evidence together.
Feedback Conversations in Trios
- Pairs (10 min): in the Kit, rewrite each of six judgements as evidence plus a question. Compare with another pair and underline every hidden judgement word.
- Trios (30 min, two rounds of 15): COACH, COLLEAGUE, OBSERVER. Use the session 3 lesson extract and its results as your evidence (the colleague's goal: more different pupils answer). Colleague plays 'open' in round 1 and 'defensive' in round 2 using the cards. Coach runs the four moves in 10 minutes; the observer gives 5 minutes of feedback on the coach, using evidence.
- Pairs (10 min): for four hard moments in the Kit, write the first sentence you would say. Practise it aloud.
- Second short activity (10 min): alone, write two specific strengths for a colleague you know (what they did, what pupils did as a result). Then check: could a camera confirm it?
- Alone (5 min): write your school-based task from the Kit.
Your facilitator will guide you through this activity in the session.
Questions to discuss
- Which judgement word did you hear yourself use most often?
- In the defensive round, what exactly helped the colleague come back to the evidence?
- What is the smallest step you could agree that a busy colleague would really try?
Reflect
- Think of feedback that helped you. What made it usable?
- Which hard moment do you fear most, and what is your first sentence?
- When is it right to give advice directly?
Try it tomorrow
- Rewrite three recent judgements you made about lessons as evidence plus a question.
- Prepare one specific strength for your colleague that names what they did and what pupils did as a result.
- Write the first sentence you will say for your most likely hard moment and say it aloud twice.
Further reading and links
Show the evidence, ask what the colleague notices, name one real strength, and agree one small step with a date.