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Session 4. Working with Parents, Specialists and Support Adults
Objective. Hold a respectful conversation with parents about a pupil's needs, ask specialists practical questions, and brief a support adult so that the teacher stays responsible for the pupil's learning.
Nobody can support a pupil with special needs alone. Parents hold the history, specialists hold professional knowledge, support adults hold extra hands, and you hold the lesson. The risk is that each acts alone, or that one party quietly takes over. This lesson goes beyond the protocol card to cover what to do when a conversation becomes difficult, how to make a specialist's advice usable, and how to give a support adult a role that builds the pupil's independence.
Key ideas
Parents as partners
- Parents know their child's history, fears and strengths better than anyone. Many feel worry, guilt or fear of stigma; in some families a child's difficulty is a private matter. Begin by listening, and do not surprise a parent with a hard message in a corridor or in front of others.
- Use a six-step protocol: welcome; a real strength; what I have noticed (facts); listen; agree one step at school and one at home; set a follow-up date. Offer a short written summary.
- Useful words: 'I have noticed ... What do you see at home? I am not a doctor, so I cannot say why. With your agreement I would like our school specialist to look more closely, so that we can help better.'
Specialists: ask for what you can use
- School psychologists, speech therapists, defectologists and doctors know things you do not. A report that stays in a file helps nobody. Meet or call with three questions: What does this pupil need in MY lesson? What should I stop doing? What should I watch and report back?
- Bring your observation notes and the pupil passport. Ask for three practical strategies in writing, in plain words. If a specialist uses a term you do not know, ask for an example from a lesson.
- Confidentiality: share a pupil's information only with those who need it for teaching or safety, and only as your school's rules allow. Do not talk about a pupil in corridors, on messaging groups or in front of other families. Keep papers locked.
Teaching assistants and other support adults
- Not every school has teaching assistants. Support may come from an assistant, a student teacher, a trained parent volunteer or a specialist who visits. The same rules apply to all of them.
- The teacher stays responsible for the pupil's learning. Research on teaching assistants (EEF) warns against the support adult taking over the pupil who struggles most, so that the pupil has less time with the teacher. Share your time: you work with the pupil too, and the assistant helps others.
- Brief the adult for 5 minutes before the lesson: the goal, what to do, how much help to give, and when to step back. Teach the assistant to prompt, wait, and fade, not to give the answer. Agree how they will report: a tick on a card, one sentence after class.
A small team with little time
- You do not need a long meeting. One page (the plan or passport), one named contact for the family, and one ten-minute check-in each month for the people around a pupil is enough to start.
- Say 'we' to the family: 'we will try this for four weeks and meet again on 20 November'. Parents trust a team more than a single teacher.
- If a parent disagrees with you, do not argue. Note the difference, keep the strength-first tone, offer to try the plan for a short time and review.
Who does what
Teacher
Owns the lesson
- Plans and teaches
- Spends time with the pupil
- Keeps the plan and notes
- Talks with the family
Support adult
Extends the teacher
- Prompts, waits, fades
- Records a simple tally
- Works with other pupils too
- Reports after class
Specialist
Advises
- Assesses and explains
- Gives 2-3 practical strategies
- Reviews with the team
- Does not run the lesson
When the conversation becomes difficult
Parents may be angry, afraid, silent or sure you are wrong. Do not defend yourself. Listen until they finish, then name what you heard: 'You are worried that he will be labelled.' Ask permission before sharing a concern: 'May I tell you what I have noticed?' Keep to facts and strengths, and end with one step that both sides can take.
If a parent disagrees, you do not need to win. Say, 'We see it differently. Shall we try this for four weeks and look together?' Write down what was agreed and send a short summary in the family's language, in Uzbek or Russian as they prefer. If the meeting feels unsafe or heated, close it kindly and ask your head of studies to join the next one.
Making advice usable and sharing roles
A specialist's report often says what a pupil has; you need what to do on Tuesday at 9:30. Ask for two or three practical strategies for your subject, written in simple words, and ask what to watch for. Agree who will check in and when. When advice does not fit your class size or resources, say so; a smaller version is better than none.
With a support adult, give one clear job per lesson: for example 'record how many times Aziz starts a task alone' or 'work with the group on the left while I work with Aziz'. A tally gives you evidence; a clear job keeps the adult from doing the pupil's work. Where no adult is available, a trained older pupil may help with specific tasks, never with marks or private information.
Examples from the classroom
The angry father
Scene. Malika's father in Samarkand comes to school angry: 'You are saying my daughter is stupid.' Her teacher, Jasur, does not defend. He says, 'You want the best for her, and so do I.' He shares what Malika does well, then two facts about steps in problems, and asks what helps at home. They agree to try short tasks for four weeks and meet again on 20 November.
Insight. Listening and naming the feeling lowers the heat so facts can be heard.
The usable advice
Scene. Dilnoza in Tashkent receives a long report about Sardor. She asks the school psychologist for three things she can do in Grade 3 mathematics. The psychologist writes: a picture timetable, a warning before changes, and a quiet place to go. Dilnoza puts them on one card and shares it with the two other teachers who teach Sardor.
Insight. Ask for practical strategies in your subject, not just a report.
A tally, not a helper
Scene. Aziz teaches Grade 5 in Fergana with a student teacher, Madina, in the room. For ten minutes he asks Madina to tally how often a pupil starts the task alone while Aziz works with the pupil's group. After class they compare: the pupil started alone 3 times in 10 minutes. They plan one prompt less next lesson.
Insight. Give support adults a task that produces evidence and builds independence.
Common pitfalls
- Delivering a hard message by message or in a corridor.
- Treating a parent's disagreement as hostility.
- Putting a support adult beside the same pupil every lesson with no plan to step back.
- Discussing a pupil's report with colleagues who do not teach him or her.
Three Conversations
- Open the Activity Kit: the six-step parent protocol, two SAMPLE scenario cards (A and B) and an observer checklist. Alone (5 min): read the protocol and mark the step you find hardest.
- Trios (15 min): role-play scenario A for 5 minutes as teacher, parent and observer; give feedback for 2 minutes; rotate roles and repeat with scenario B and then your own case. The observer uses the checklist only.
- Pairs (10 min): write three questions you would ask the school specialist about the pupil in scenario A, in the form 'What does the pupil need in my lesson?'.
- Part B (15 min): write a one-page 5-minute briefing for a support adult for a real lesson: goal, what to do, how much help, when to step back, how to report. Read it aloud in 1 minute to your partner, who says whether it is clear.
- Alone (10 min): choose one conversation or briefing to hold in school and write your school-based task from the Kit.
Your facilitator will guide you through this activity in the session.
Questions to discuss
- Which step of the protocol did you skip when you were nervous? What does that tell you?
- As a parent, what words from the teacher helped you listen, and what closed you down?
- Where would a support adult in your school be tempted to do the work for the pupil?
Reflect
- What was the hardest conversation with a parent you have had? What would you change?
- Who in or near your school could act as a specialist you can ask?
- What is the first thing you will do to protect confidentiality in your own practice?
Try it tomorrow
- Prepare one sentence that names a parent's feeling, and use it in your next difficult conversation.
- Ask one specialist for two practical strategies for your subject and put them on a card.
- Give any helper in your room one specific job for one lesson, and ask them to report one sentence afterwards.
Further reading and links
Listen first, share facts and strengths, ask specialists for what you can use in your lesson, and keep your own responsibility for the pupil's learning.